The Office takes place in the Scranton, Pennsylvania Branch of Dunder Mifflin, the best mid-sized regional paper company in the world. Regional Manager Michael Scott leads the branch with an unorthodox style of inappropriate comments, impressions, and jokes. Always striving to be the World’s Best Boss, Michael takes top salesman Dwight Schrute under his wing making him Assistant (to the) Regional Manager. Dwight lets the (fake) position go to his head and makes life difficult for his co-workers. Most of all Jim Halpert, fellow salesman, which forces Jim to constantly prank Dwight to get even. Jim’s partner in these antics is the receptionist, and secret crush, Pam Beesly. If there weren't enough distractions already, there is plenty of inter-office relationship drama and parties for every occasion. Michael does tend to ruin every party with some sort of selfish outburst or relationship problem, but at least there's cake. Between corporate demands and downsizing, Michael’s immature behavior, Dwight’s overbearing presence, and pranks orchestrated by Jim and Pam, there is no such thing as an ordinary day at The Office. Michael Scott "That's what she said!" "Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me." "Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked, but it’s not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be praised." "Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way." "Well, well, well, how the turntables." "I’m not superstitious, but I am a little ‘stitious." "And I knew exactly what to do. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do." Dwight Schrute "You couldn’t handle my undivided attention." "All you need is love. False. The four basic human necessities are air, water, food, and shelter." "Before I do anything, I ask myself, 'would an idiot do that?' And if the answer is yes, I do not do that thing." "I’m fast. To give you a reference point. I’m somewhere between a snake and a mongoose. And a panther." "And I did not become a Lackawanna County volunteer sheriff’s deputy to make friends. And by the way, I haven’t." "That's cool. Hey, you know what's even cooler than Triceratops? Every other dinosaur that ever existed!" Pam Beesly "Usually on sexual harassment day everyone harasses me… as a joke." "I get ten vacation days a year, and I try to hold off taking them for as long as possible, and this year I got to the third week in January." "Kinda sounds like prison is better than Dunder Mifflin" "Oh God no, Dwight isn’t my friend… Oh my God! Dwight’s kind of my friend!" "Once every hour someone is involved in an internet scam. That man is Michael Scott." "How is it possible that in five years, I’ve had two engagements and only one chair?" "There’s a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn’t that kind of the point?" Jim Halpert "Fact: Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica." "I am about to do something very bold in this job that I’ve never done before: try." "Right now, this is just a job. If I advance any higher in this company, this would be my career. And, uh, if this were my career, I’d have to throw myself in front of a train." "I mean, when I tell people I work at Dunder Mifflin, they think that we sell mufflers or muffins or mittens or…and frankly, all of those sound better than paper, so I let it slide." "From time to time I send Dwight faxes. From himself. From the future." "I miss Dwight. Congratulations, universe. You win." Read more Andy Bernard "Rit-dit-dit-do-doo!" "I went to Cornell. Ever heard of it? I graduated in four years, I never studied once, I was drunk the whole time, and I sang in the A Capella group, 'Here Comes Treble'." "Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship." "I'll be the number-two guy here in Scranton in six weeks. How? Name repetition, personality mirroring, and never breaking off a handshake. I'm always thinking one step ahead. Like a carpenter that makes stairs." "Big Tuna!" "Women cannot resist a man singing show tunes. It's so powerful, even a lot of men can't resist a man singing show tunes." Angela Martin "I don't have a headache. I'm just preparing." "Sometimes the clothes at Gap Kids are too flashy, so I’m forced to go to the American Girl store and order clothes for large colonial dolls." "If you pray enough, you can change yourself into a cat person." "I once reported Oscar to the INS. Turns out he’s clean, but I’m glad I did it." "If you ever put sunblock on a window, you might be Michael Scott." "The thought of popping one of your beets into my mouth makes me want to vomit." "It's not a surprise to me. Pam is the office mattress." Ryan Howard "If I had to, I could clean out my desk in five seconds, and nobody would ever know that I’d ever been here. And I’d forget, too." "I hooked up with her on February 13th." "Yeah, I’m not a temp anymore. I got Jim’s old job. Which means at my ten-year high school reunion, it will not say “Ryan Howard is a temp”. It will say “Ryan Howard is a junior sales associate at a mid-range paper supply firm”… That’ll show ’em." "I miss the days when there was only one party I didn’t want to go to." "I'm not saying I had a meteoric rise, but I did." "I'd rather she be alone than with somebody. Is that love?" Kelly Kapoor "I have a lot of questions. Number 1, how dare you?" "You guys I’m, like, really smart now. You don’t even know. You could ask me,’ Kelly, what’s the biggest company in the world?’ And I’d be like, ‘blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah.’ Giving you the exact right answer." “I talk a lot, so I’ve learned to tune myself out.” "Who says exactly what they’re thinking? What kind of a game is that?" "I can’t control what I say to people. I spend the whole day talking." "I think sometimes people are really mean to the hot, popular girl." "I am one of those few people who looks hot eating a cupcake." Read more Kevin Malone "I have very little patience for stupidity." "I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. That’s all I’ve ever wanted." "Me think, why waste time say lot word, when few word do trick." "I got six numbers, one more and it would have been a complete phone number." "I wanted to eat a pig in a blanket, in a blanket." "I used to go there with my fiancé. Before she left me. No, I mean, before I left her. She left me." Oscar Martinez "Why do we have to pay money to get a gift for his ex-girlfriend's unborn sperm bank baby?" "I consider myself a good person, but I'm gonna try to make him cry." "I'm sorry you're offended by my shoes, but I am not going to drive home to change." "The Dunder Mifflin stock symbol is DMI. Do you know what that stands for? Dummies, morons, and idiots. Because that's what you'd have to be to own it. And as one of those idiots, I believe the board owes me answers." Stanley Hudson "Did I Stutter!?" "Boy have you lost your mind, cause I'll help you find it!" "I took an extra shot of insulin in preparation for this cake today. If I don’t have some cake soon I might die." "You are a professional idiot." "Life is short. Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse." "But on pretzel day? Well, I like pretzel day." "Do Not Care." Phyllis Vance "Close your mouth, sweetie. You look like a trout." "You have a lot to learn about this town, sweetie." "You promised me this. Don’t make me get Bob involved!" "We have a gym at home. It's called the bedroom." "You don't take my clients away and give them to a secretary. No offense, Jim. I think she's very pretty." "You found Uncle Al!" Read more Darryl Philbin "Darryl Philbin. Then Regis, then Rege, then Roger, then Mis-dah Ra-jahs." "That there's a woman's suit." "How about the sales department is the sails?" "I am not having fire-eaters in a paper warehouse." "Well see, um... in the gang world, we use something called Fluffy Fingers." "I was there. That dude is not engaged. I'm not a big believer in therapy, but I'll go into my own pocket to cover his co-pay." Creed Bratton "www.creedthoughts.gov.www/creedthoughts. Check it out." "I’ve been involved in a number of cults, both a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower, but you make more money as a leader." "Nobody steals from Creed Bratton and gets away with it. The last person to do this disappeared. His name? Creed Bratton." "When Pam gets Michael’s old chair, I get Pam’s old chair. Then I’ll have two chairs. Only one to go." Meredith Palmer "Tell ya one thing, I’m not gonna be a good mom tonight." "Hey everybody, he’s not in the men’s room. Although the seat was warm, so we may have just missed him." "Who's the one who didn't bring lice into the office? Meredith." "Stop fighting! Just on St. Patrick's Day okay? Just one, perfect day a year. No hassles. No problems. No kids." "She's right. I had my second kid just for the vacation." Toby Flenderson "Michael is like a movie on a plane. You know, it's not great, but it's something to watch. And when it's over you're like... how much time is left on this flight? Now what?" "We should really have the office’s air quality tested. We have radon coming from below. We have asbestos in the ceilings. These are silent killers. You’ll see." "Let's just say I'll be up to my neck in jury duty." "Why you always gotta be so mean to me?" Read more
